My Struggle With Healthy Eating

I want to blame my grandma for all the delicious dinners she would cook and all the pies and cakes she would bake for us during her precious time on this earth. I want to blame every fast-food restaurant for making it so convenient for me to grab and go. I want to blame the creators of junk foods that made it easy for me to rip open the bag and eat its crunchy, nacho cheesy deliciousness. I want to point the finger of conviction in their profitable faces and say, “You did this to me! I’m addicted to your processed, dead food and I want it all the time!! You will pay for this right after I finish off my most favorite and addictive Ben & Jerry’s Pistachio Pistachio!!”

Undeniably, at the end of the day, when my mind falls silent and I can feel the sluggish jiggle of coagulating fat engulfing my waist, I know in my heart I am to blame.

Is it that I don’t care? Have I given up? Why can’t I resist the good-tasting bad food? Shouldn’t it be easy for me to say no to Snickers and yes to that sweet and juicy peach? Why can’t I stop eating the bad stuff when I feel my jeans hugging my hips tighter? Why can’t I push myself away from the table on which that hot and cheesy sausage and pepperoni pizza sits?

I want to say it’s a lack of self-control or that I’m too busy to shop for healthier choices. But is this really true? Is it that I don’t care anymore? I do care, and since I do, what’s my problem? Why can’t I just choose to eat healthier. Why can’t I cut back and at least start with portion control?

I am mulling over these questions right now as I eat a healthy slice of lemon cream pie (which is magnificent by the way). I don’t have a reasonable answer. But I do know that I need to figure this out so much sooner than later.

With all the money I’ve spent on nutritional coaches, fitness trainers, and gyms over the years, I could be an expert on healthy eating and fitness. I just don’t practice what I know.

I sit here wondering why I can’t put down the pie and eat healthy just by deciding?

Come to think of it, I think I do know! The answer is everything I stated above! I’m eating processed and addictive foods which are so readily available, time-saving and immediately edible. It’s also because I don’t choose the right foods. Nor do I take the time to prepare healthy foods.

Eating healthy is a decision followed by action and discipline. I wish this was some warm and fuzzy post where I suddenly have an ‘a ha!’ moment and announce I’m on my way to Whole Foods and all will be right with the world.

Sorry. Not exactly. BUT, it has made me think more about my health and how I can keep trying to be my healthiest and not give up. At least I made the topic a reality in my mind. Real enough for me to take baby steps to live a healthier lifestyle one more time.

All I can do is try. I’ll will write honestly and openly about my health and fitness adventures. Stay tuned.